| | For anyone thats followed me for more than two years you may remember some of my blog entires from when I worked at a boy scout camp. I worked there for three summers from 2005-2007. The time spent there was both some of the best time spent and at moments horribly unhealthy for my own sanity. (my last summer there I was the director of the dining hall, with a staff under me. They FUCKING SUCKED at life!!!! My grandmother died and at her funeral my dad had a heart attack. Neither of them I was able to attend. I ended up in the psychiatric hospital for three days right after that. I did want my life to end but I looked for the help myself. After getting out I returned to work for one more week. The pressure of the job and the family crisis surrounding everything led me to quitting with just two weeks to go. I was not asked to return the following summer and it had been two years since i've stepped foot in the camp.)
Today I went over to the camp to visit some friends that still work there. I was nervous beyond anything I had felt in the longest time. over the last few years i've had dreams about camp. The dreams always started with me in the dark, the dark of the woods. I'm walking through the woods at night when i come upon the camp. All the staff are around a campfire talking, walking around, hanging out. I make my way closer into the light. Either I make myself visible or someone fines me. It turns out ok, the people that where for the most part my friends when I actually worked there welcomed me and was joyous to finally see me again. Others, people I have a feeling hate gays would either not talk to me and walk away or tell me I wasn't welcome there. The dreams did end up turning out ok but I still felt a negative vive from the whole thing. Going to camp today couldn't have gone any better! I would split everyone's reaction into four categories. First, the new people that didn't know me and that I worked there. Second, the ones that didn't like me from before, same old same old, didn't talk to me or blah. Third, the ones that knew me, worked with me, but didn't really care either way. And fourth, the ones that have always been my friends, the ones that care how I'm doing. That last group was way larger than what I expected. Every time I saw someone I knew they would shout out my name and be happy to see me.
I intended to go and hang out with Jenna and Bob and thats what I did. I was able to hang out with them and just chill, kinda just like old times but also not. I felt like I should be working, should be helping, should be on the clock getting somewhere but I also felt like this place finally wasn't my place anymore. Like I said, it went well and i'm happy for that. I plan on going over there a few more times over the summer and possibly seeing some of them over a weekend. |
| | Posted 7/16/2009 2:01 AM - 4 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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